Remember Who You Are

Remember who you are. 

This is something that has been coming up for me a lot lately, whispered in my ear like a mantra, a meditation for the certainty of uncertain days, the siren call of the past, present, and future all rolled into four sweet words: remember who you are. 

Remember who you are. 

It cuts to the bone doesn’t it? A tether to something unnameable. A simple command that contains so much – so, so much – that it sends tears racing to burn behind my eyes. 

Remember who you are. 

Today I saw that it’s been 18 years since Elliott Smith died. Elliott Smith, the preternaturally sensitive, emo songwriter/musician who spoke to a sliver of a generation – my sliver of my generation – coming of age in the mid-late 90s and early 00s, disillusioned and creative, but not so brashly meta and fuck offish as the earlier Gen X’ers, not so arrived and digitally enabled as the Millennials to follow.

Elliott Smith died 18 years ago and I was 25 then. I remember that day. It felt like a friend died and I thought about Kevin, a dear friend, who loved Elliott Smith more than anyone. 

And so remember who you are – I was a friend of Elliott Smith’s. Not literally, but it felt that way because I liked Elliott Smith and I was a friend of Kevin’s. I was preternaturally sensitive too. 

The beautiful thing about getting older is that when you hear that whisper – REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE – you have much to recollect. You have the pin pricked pattern of a constellation that was once undefined, taking time to take shape for so long, but now when you think about it, when you feel and fall into it, when you are called to attention with this ephemeral phrase, you see the constellation so clearly. All the stars are in their place. Remember who you are. 

I am an artist. 

I am an empath. 

I am fire.

I am air. 

I am mother/sister/daughter/lover/friend.

I am fucking funny. 

I am connected. 

I am sensitive. 

I am wild.

I am resilient.

I am strong.

I am witchy.

I am creative.

I am punk rock.

I am a rock.

I am underground. 

I am water.

I am a tree. 

I am weird.

I am making.

I am becoming.

I am wise.

I am open.

I am the ocean.

I am the sky.

I am free.

I was a fan of Elliott Smith’s and I am thinking of my dear friend Kevin today. I haven’t seen him in a while.

Remember who you are. 

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